One of the things that every mother be it a biological parent or a foster parent or an adoptive mom has in common is grief when they loose a child.

Of course Biological parents grieve much longer if they loose a child be it to the state and loss of parental rights or infant death. But foster moms and adoptive moms also experience a great deal of grief if they have a child placed into their home for a matter of time and then for some reason the child is moved to another placement.

There are a lot of different ways that we grieve. One of the most common is through tears, depression and the deep feeling of loss in your life. Some people grieve in silence but in the long run it exposes it's self in their attitude and sometimes in anger.

Some birth parents who have lost custody of a child go on to have another child. Thinking another child can replace part of what they have lost. Which is simply not true and really out of normal emotional focus. No one can replace the loss of another family member. Not even a child.

As time goes on and your emotional life stabilizes then going on to have another family can be rehabilitating. But the circumstances of the first loss must be changed or you are placing a band aid where stitches must be needed.

With Foster and Adoptive Moms. We have sheltered a child and helped them get used to our home. We have nurtured them and taken care of every need be it physical, emotional or spiritual. From the time they came into our life.

We have given them clothes, a place to sleep, enrolled them in school, taken them to the dentist, had their annual physical done so on and so forth.

So it is no wonder that if the child is moved to another placement or is returned home we will miss them. We will worry about them. And, we may never be able to contact them again.

So Grieving the loss of a child is something both the birth mom and the extended foster/adoptive mom
experience together.

I think that foster/adoptive moms feel this grief a number of times in their parenting careers. Which helps them to understand the birth mom so much more.

While the birth mom just resents the foster or adoptive mom because they have to have someone to blame for their loss. Though this blame is miss
guided when it is towards the foster/adoptive parent because they are just there to help secure that the child is treated well while away from the birth parent.

Have you ever dealt with the loss of a child that you loved so dearly? If so how did you go on to handle the loss? Sharing your experience may help someone else out there. Your comments count.