Every morning I think my daughter puts on an outfit or fixes her hair just to rile my "Shock Factor". It is mid-winter here in the Michigan Mitten and my daughter is dressed for Florida.

I used to drive down the street and see kids with bright green or orange hair and think, "Why would a parent let them out of the house looking like that?"

Well obviously that was just the beginning of my Foster/Adoptive Family. I grew up in a time where you made sure your pants fit right not let them hang to your knees and expose your boxers or god forbid worse. So getting used to a teenager expressing themselves was a little lesson for me.

In Foster Care the one thing a birth parent has authority over their birth child is how their hair is kept. The birth parent can tell you "No I do not want my child's hair cut." As long as the TPR is in progress and not through yet, this can happen. I have experienced it.

How strange that how a child's hair is kept would be such a big deal, but my foster son could not get the in style "Fade". He had to sport around with long shaggy hair, even though it was his wish to have his hair cut.

Well now as I parent my sixteen year old daughter, I would much rather see her with green hair than to let her leave the house with her breasts bursting out of a top that I feel is two sizes to small for her. Where did she get that top anyway? Why is her friend wearing the fifty dollar sweater I just bought her? Well I guess I know where she got that top now. They are always exchanging this or that to keep up with the "Shock Factor" of high school life.

I would not want to be a principal of a high school in this day and time. I would be sending kids home right and left for not wearing appropriate clothing.

My daughter and I met in the middle. She can now wear her hair in any style she wishes and any color she wishes as long as I still can send her back up to change clothes before leaving in Florida Gear.

I also taught her how to do her own laundry after I found what looked like a string stuck in the center of the washer. I didn't buy her those. I didn't want to know where she got them. (worried smile)

Compromise is Holy Ground when you are parenting a teenager. Letting them "Express Themselves" without Expressing What Not To Wear is a fine line.

So give me Green Hair... Just put those G-Strings and Scarf Tops in the Trash.