Most of my older adopted children basically came off the streets where they’d been allowed to run unsupervised and certainly undisciplined. Clueless as to proper behavior of any sort, full of anger issues and emotional challenges, I now have just a few years to teach them civilized manners and people skills.

In their former families, holidays were all too often drunken revelries, drugs were involved and the children were neglected.

When holidays arrived, the children automatically cringed knowing intuitively that trouble was on the way.

Now, years later with many calm holidays under their belts, I’m attempting to replace all their once learned negative behaviors with proper ones.

I usually have around fifty people here each holiday. My older children bring food and we make it more of a potluck event. We use paper plates and cups, something I usually loathe doing but I find it fairly necessary during these dishwasher overloads. Still there are plenty of pots, pan, trays and casserole dishes to clean.

Always without fail my older teenage girls turn into perfect snots and don’t lift a finger to help. My teenage boys spring into high gear, overcompensating in their helpfulness, contrasted with the girls who superciliously act as if this dirt road had a 90210 zip code attached to it.

We do the same things each year, little emphasis on presents, huge emphasis on food and family. There’s usually little drama. Some kids choose to not attend as if by doing so they are ‘punishing’ me for the sins of their birth parents. These estrangements rarely last more than a season. Who wants to miss the fun?

A son-in-law fried four turkeys, Grandma made several traditional dishes, food we only have during holidays like sweet potato soufflé, there’s no food police on these days, and calories and fat grams be darned.

Sit where one wants, eat until you don’t feel like eating anymore, and toss your plate in the trashcan knowing we’re going to do this again at every family holiday get together.

Photo Credit Cindy Bodie