My “nice” posts get little if any response yet my grittier reports of problems and challenges all seem to ring true in all y’all’s families as well.

I’ve recently read several studies and descriptions on children who’ve disrupted from their placements as well as equally scary behaviors and characteristics in children waiting for families.

An adoption recruiter in one state told me that most of the waiting older children now have some horrifying diagnoses, almost sociopathic in nature. There seems to be an overload of physically aggressive behaviors and anti-social tendencies. I don’t see adoptive parents becoming any better trained in preparation and I also don’t believe, until you are faced with the day to day skirmishes, that any parent could possibly be trained enough.

I’m not convinced that residential therapeutic interventions are doing much more than warehousing children. I know from personal interactions that there are superb therapists on staff at these places, yet children without families are either loathe to participate in any meaningful counseling or they simply don’t see the point.

My own children have needed so many resources, so much help, so much love, security and stability before any sort of understanding of themselves has taken place that I can hardly fathom how a foster child with little hope for adoption could possibly have any feelings other than complete despair.

I’ve been on several email list groups concerning adoption for many years, read shelves of books on this matter, and personally know many other families like mine – naïve, clueless parents who dove in headfirst only wanting to help someone somehow.

I’ve seen many success stories, heard of adopted children continuing on what their adoptive parents taught them by adopting children themselves as adults and many former foster children who once they were adopted started to envision a future and eventually became successful teachers, social workers and policemen.

This can be done. It takes a monumental amount of perseverance, a thick skin and so much help from professionals. I’m only finished adopting because of my age and the fact that I already have enough children. I’m not stopping because it can’t be done.

I admire all y’all, still continuing to fight the bureaucracy of adoption and forging ahead to bring the children home. This can be done and it is rewarding, maybe more so than any other endeavor on earth because one has worked so hard to personally benefit another human being.

Photo Credit Cindy Bodie