One thing we rarely talk about is when we know it is time to stop adopting and focus on the children we have in our home. It is often a hard question to face and even harder to answer.

Good parents are so hard to come by and when you find people with open arms and a loving heart you want to allow every child in the world to know them.

As foster parents we thought we would be like most foster parents with over 100 children in our home before we decided to close our license.

In reality we ended up adopting the first sibling unit that came into our care. They had so many personal issues that it was obvious they needed a full time parent and as much love and attention that they could handle.

So it did not take us long before we opted to stop taking in any other children and we began the long battle of raising our adopted children.

My friend has adopted 9 children. She and her husband went in to Foster Care about two months after we began. They had over 50 children placed in their home.

Just about everyone that came up for Termination of Parental Rights they adopted. For the first few years they were really good at raising their new family. Recently as the children grow older and the hormones kick in they are finding it is very hard to give the attention needed to each child.

At times we talk and it is obvious we both feel like we have failed our children. Both of us have children who dropped out of High School. Became parents at a young age. Or we just feel over whelmed.

It is then when we need each others support the most. We both realized our capacity when the time came. I knew that I could not handle more children than the four I was blessed to adopt. She on the other hand is a bit younger than I and her husband is a swimming coach. So they are used to hanging out with the gang. So nine did not seem to great of a number to them.

So how do you know it is time to stop?

1.) If you are unable to give each child the personal attention they need on a daily basis.

2.) If your home is at living capacity.

3.) If you have a job and other important things in your life that limits your time at home. Like being a Swimming Coach.

4.) If you are financially not able to keep up with all the bills and the needs of the children.

5.) If you feel lost or overwhelmed.

6.) If the children in your home feel crowded.

These are just a hand full of good reasons. I am sure that many of you out there can come up with so many more.

Sometimes our hearts are bigger than our wallets or our homes. I have seen some people who make their living off being adoptive/foster parents. They have group home licenses. However, for me I love a large family but I very well knew it was time to stop when I felt I could not give another child the time and energy they so richly deserve.

When did you come to that point in life? Or have you even thought about it? All comments are welcomed.