When we began foster care. We were blessed to meet Billy. He was our first foster son.

For six weeks he seemed to be the most delightful child on earth. He was kind and he seemed to get along well with everyone he met. He loved being the center of attention.

It wasn't until his siblings were placed with us that we began to have problems with our Billy. He seemed to change over night. He became a bully.
He was mean to everyone. He treated females including me as if we were less of a human than the men in the house.

It went from this to him acting out in school. Then one evening he just seemed to have a melt down.
He was so angry he demolished his room and most of our upper floor bedrooms. He threatened us not to fall asleep or he would cut our throats and spit down them.

We of course called the agency because we had never had this experience with anyone ever before. We had never seen so much anger just unleashed at anyone and everything around him.

The agency said to bring him in as soon as possible.
We thought they were going to do emergency counseling. But instead they took Billy from us and placed him in a boys home in the middle of inner city Detroit.

He was the only non minority living there. Which made him the top minority. They would not allow us to see him. He was locked away like an animal. He was not receiving any counseling and he was still in the same clothes we had transported him in.

He smelled of urine. He had a bed wetting problem and it was more than obvious he had not been bathing and his clothes had not been changed.

We immediately contacted the agency and we fought with them to get permission to bring him fresh clothing and to get him bathed. Then we asked for permission to pick him up and drive him to the agency for therapy. It was 50 miles both ways for me but Billy was far more important to us than the time we spent driving.

When we saw him he was catatonic. He was non responsive to anyone but his brother Joe Joe.
It took us several hours of counseling sessions and the hope that they might let him come back to our home before Billy seemed to perk up again.

This was a major set back for Billy and to see him like that. Locked away like an animal. Was beyond human to us. He was in need of serious help. But he surely didn't receive it.

From that point on Billy spent time in and out of lock down facilities. He moved from one pre adopt home to another one. Every placement failed. When he was 15 he began running away and we would get phone calls at all hours of the night saying "Mom, Dad I need to come home. Pick me up please."

He always found his way back to us and to our family. He is currently 20 and still living in our area. He is working for a lawn service and he stops in to say hello or to wash his clothes once a week. He still spends every holiday with us. In his heart we are his parents and we have been since that episode when they took him from us.

Until then he never called anyone mom or dad. When that happened we became his mom and dad in his eyes.
We saw first hand how out of home placements can effect a child. It is not a pretty sight.

I guess that is why we never wanted any of the children we adopted to go through this again. Unfortunately April got herself caught up in the juvenile system and we had no choice in the matter.
The Judge made those decisions and we just had to be there to piece life back together when something happened.

This by far is the negative side of Out of Home Placement. Since then we have seen it work effectively for other children who were in abusive homes. As long as the child has a good worker who will advocate for them. They can survive the system.