As soon as the newness wears off and you get into your everyday life, you might need some pointers oh how to communicate with your newly adopted child.

I find it is nice to start the day with decent conversation, as you wake up the kids for school and you both begin your day.

I always asked my kids one by one, "How are you feeling sunshine?" I also am often guilty of singing to them in the morning. Sometimes they like it and join in and sometimes they are grumpy and pull the pillow over their heads.

Whatever comes easy make sure to nurture them a little before they are off into their day. In my home before the kids leave for school we join hands and say a prayer. Usually we include a prayer for safety of all the kids as they go to school and as they are coming home from school. We also add in tests and other things that we know are coming up in the day ahead of each child.

My husband told me to sleep in one morning and he would get the kids off to school. It was much to my surprise that when my youngest daughter got home she immediately told me daddy forgot the morning prayer. That's why she had a bad day. We hugged and giggled and decided we would tell daddy he had to remember those important things.

When your children come home ask questions:

1). Honey how was your day?
2). Do you have homework?
3). Anything special happen today that you would
like to talk about?
4). How were your teachers today?
5). What was the most favorite thing you did today?
6). What did you do that you didn't care for?
7). Do you have any special projects due soon?
8). Ask how their friends are?
9). Do you have any plans for your free time today?

Just asking general questions will let them know you care and that you are interested in how they are feeling.

Of course each child is different and sometimes you can ask group questions like, "how was everyone's day," but other questions like how are their friends or special projects or issues might be things you will want to ask during alone time with each child.

It is funny sometimes how, at different times of the day, each child would need some alone time with me to talk. One just loved to talk after school. The other liked to talk as I brushed her hair before bed time. My youngest would always talk to me while I rubbed her legs and told her stories before she fell asleep. My son always wanted to talk when we were in the yard or playing a game.

The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open between you and each child. Give them an open door to talk to you anytime. You will be surprised at some of the things they will tell you. With each conversation you will build trust and confidence in one another.

Remember, sometimes they just need to talk. They may not want your opinions and always try not to react with anger or surprise during whatever they tell you. Your talk time is never a time for anger or discipline.

Other good questions to ask are:

1). How do you feel about that?
2). How would you have done things differently?
3). Do you understand what caused an issue?
4). Next time how will you respond to that?
5). What do you think they should have done?

This opens the door to more in depth conversations and you will love the intelligence your child will develop as they learn to answer these questions.

Use questions that will pull your child's thoughts to the surface. How did they respond? What did they feel? What will they do next time?

Never continue a conversation if you or the child gets angry or upset. You can always talk again later after you have had time to think about things.

More than anything, talking to your child helps them feel safe and accepted. It helps them to learn to speak up and be able to carry on a good conversation with others also.

Anyone out there with other examples on how they communicate with their kids? All comments are welcome.