When you prepare to adopt a child. Make sure you ask if it is ok to meet the biological parents of the child you are adopting.

Sitting down with the birth mom and birth father can allow you to get a good back ground history on your child. From the best source possible.

There are times when the birth parents will not want to meet you face to face. In such situations ask the adoption worker to take a list of questions to the parents and ask them to fill out the answers. This way you can still have good information on your child's history.

Top Ten Questions I Ask Are:

1.) Are there any Medical Issues in your family that we may need to know about such as: Diabetes, heart problems, respiratory issues, cancer or blood disorders?

2.) Does any of your family have addictive personalities to alcohol, drugs, tobacco or other substances?

3.) Is there anyone like a grandparent or aunt that would like to keep in touch with us about the child?

4.) Are you open to allowing your child to search for you and to meet you when that time comes in their life?

5.) Is there anything that you would want your child to know about you or your family history?

6.) If the child has any medical problems in the future that may be life threatening...Can we have the agency contact you?

7.) Can we have a sealed list of Birth Family Names and History to give the child at a later date when they want to know more about their biological family?

8.) Is it ok to ask for your social security numbers to be included in a personal note to your child. So that it will make it easier to find you when the child wishes to look for you?

9.) Has any of your family recently moved from one state to another or do you have family living in other states?

10.) What do you want to name your child?


Questions like these are open and will allow the parent to give as little or as much information to the new adoptive parents as they wish to.

It will also open lines of communication between the two sets of parents for the child's best interests.

If your adoption is an open adoption or if the child you are adopting is an older child and has made ties with a family member. You may wish to allow that child to keep an open line of communication with that family relative or parent or grand parent.

Adoption is just extending your family unit. In many ways it can help an adoptive child to keep in touch with positive role models from their birth family when at all possible.

However as the new parent of the child. If at any point you find that keeping a relationship open to a biological relative is detrimental to the child's best interests. The relationship can be severed.

It takes a special kind of parent to share a child.
For those of you who have maintained a successful open adoption. My best wishes are with you in your effort to do what is best for the child.