Admittedly I walk a different road than most people. I do it by choice; I’m drawn to the odd aspects of my life. It is not a chore for me to parent a large family; it is a deliberate, thought-out, planned choice. A choice I am happy that I made years ago.

So if I choose to watch a taped version of Intervention on New Year’s Eve rather than go out and celebrate, it should be considered my right, my choice and so what if it may not seem like fun to others? I owe no one any explanation.

I did watch this and I came away with many thoughts. Just as I’d linked an horrific accident report yesterday to my post, today I’ll expound more on what comes to my mind regarding a parent like me, and all y’all, who are parenting children that have been exposed in utero to alcohol or children that have so much to learn in so little time since they were adopted as older children.

The interventionists on these shows teach family members and friends that they must explain to the alcoholic or druggie that they will not stand by idly anymore, watching their loved one die a slow death while destroying relationships, stealing, lying or demonstrating whatever negative behavior is involved in their quest for more drugs and alcohol.

I will not participate in your behaviors if you refuse treatment.

I like that and I know it is effective, yet also unbelievably difficult.

The manipulative behaviors of an addict would fill the pages of the internet so I’ll just briefly mention that a sober person is often no match for the deviousness of the person who is addictive.

Parents of older adopted children may find themselves in this situation as some point or another. I know that I have found myself with the unenviable task of having to make certain that I am not the enabler.

I have had to literally turn my back on negative behaviors, take a tough love approach, and have someone temporarily leave my life until they choose to change their behaviors.

I’m not doing anyone any favors otherwise, I cannot allow myself to mistake destructive behaviors for supposedly failed attempts to stop, I can’t allow my once victimized children to continually play the I’m-A-Victim card after I’ve spent years with them in therapy and I must somehow teach accountability and responsibility.

We, as a family, have successfully navigated these waters before; we’re in the midst of it now with a couple of grown children and certain to face it again over the years. I’m confident that all of my children will eventually succeed on their own terms in positive ways if I do not waver from this approach.

Photo Credit Cindy Bodie