Writing about age 18 yesterday, a reader remarked on the need to move back after moving out, returning to regroup, and I whole heartedly believe this also is an issue.

My family is blessed to have a doublewide trailer on our property, an independent living facility so to speak, that’s certainly taken a beating over the years. It has needed constant repair and it must feel as if its walls are rubber so many times have kids bounced in and out of it.

The world is a cold, hard, cruel reality.

I’ve constantly worked with my children about working, budgeting, paying one’s bills, accountability, credit checks, employment applications, honesty, responsibility and every other facet of growing up that is necessary, and it feels as if everything falls on deaf ears.

As if mama is clueless, or at best, some old-fashioned pooter who has a different reality from their world where rules and self-discipline seem archaic and a supreme waste of time.

They just wanna have fun.

“Lighten up, Mom,” I’ve heard.

Months and years later it’s a different song.

“Mom, you’re right. Life’s hard; can I (we) move back in and get back on our feet?”

Most of my sons go through a series of losing jobs, being fired for tardiness or no-shows, my daughters tend to keep their jobs but struggle with overspending.

If anything, I personally under spend, and I’ve wondered if their buying too much stuff comes from rebelling against me. I don’t think though that I should go spend beyond my means just to give them one less thing to rebel against. That’d be like becoming dishonest so they’d rebel and go straight?

I think at one point I may have naively felt as if age 18 meant I’d have freedom, basically it’s really meant heartache for us all as I’ve sweated out their poor choices, helped them recover while not enabling them, and wishing all along that they’d listened to me more.

But honestly I didn’t listen to my mother either. I bumbled through my own mistakes, recovered and grew stronger. I have the same realistic hopes for my children as well. Life is about learning from one’s mistakes, failing forward as John Maxwell explains so well, and moving on.

I love my kids, forgive them their attitudes and angry words, and encourage them in life, just as they’ve done for me and for their siblings over the years.

Photo Credit: Yolie Neely