I just caught a thirteen year old being honest when he knew he was in trouble. Alert the media as this rarely happens in my house. I found an item he’d stolen from another brother and a chirping baby bird in the closet, but that’s a different post.

I’m not even mad that he stole this item, so surprised am I at his immediate honesty. He tried to lie for a minute, but he saw the fire in my eyes when I insisted he tell the truth. “Don’t even try and lie to me, son,” I’d immediately fussed.

“OK, I had it but I was only holding it for him.”

“Bull.”

“OK, I took it,” he sheepishly replied, but he is slowly learning 60 months later to begin to trust me.

He got the free lecture on honesty but this time it was woven with threads of "I’m proud of you for telling the truth about your theft."

This is a start.

I used to go ballistic and be overly irritated by the level of deceit around here, now I’m much more understanding, but not necessarily accepting, of this behavior that comes with children who’ve previously learned to trust no one.

He’ll have a small consequence over this theft; he won’t get computer time today. I told him he lost it for two days, but tomorrow I’ll reward his honesty and shorten his time suspended from his beloved games.

This is progress for us.

Again it requires therapeutic parenting. I must discuss, rehash and explain why it is important to be honest, I need to give concrete examples showing how trust is necessary, and then we will continue with life. I know that dishonesty will pop up frequently, I deal with it and I keep building upon each positive experience we have such as today’s little interlude. Iffy advancement by most people’s standards, a phenomenal development in our atypical family.

This is not the thirteen year old pictured here, this is another son who was making it difficult for me to keep a straight face this afternoon what with him jumping around the house, being a pirate for some unknown reason.