It is never easy if you are a "Swan" to give up any family. They say Swan's mate for life and then at the birth of a baby. Both Mom and Dad watch over the young Swan until he or she takes on a mate.

If you ever see a Swan swimming alone you can be sure that the mate is wounded or dead. Which is a sad thing to think of.

Well I'm a momma Swan. I had a very hard time when my first daughter was at the age where she wanted to get married and move out. Then it was even harder when she came back home when she had her first miscarriage. She was here for several days.
Then again she got up and brushed off the emotional damage and went home and back to work.

Two months later when she found out she was pregnant again she came back home. Worried that she might not carry this baby either. This time I had to brush her off and send her back out into the world.

Each time she has been pregnant she has spent some quality time at home with "Mom." On her weekends off from work or any time she could slip away. She and her dad did Lamaze together with her first baby since her husband was not interested and did not want to pay for the classes. Dad paid for them and she took him right along with her as her coach.

We were not present at the birth of her second child since she had moved down state and labor hit so fast that there was no time to call anyone. We found out the next day that she had given birth to her second baby boy.

Six weeks later she ended up in the hospital and of course as fate would have it we were down for a funeral. When I went into the emergency room and placed my hand in hers and kissed her forehead she woke up and said "Oh mom I was just dreaming about you."

I of course responded by saying "Here I am honey...I'm not going anywhere until I am sure you are al right."

When I walked in her room the next day. Her room mate said she had been calling for Me all night long in her sleep.

We talk almost every night on the phone. So I can keep up with how she is and how my two grand babies are. She knows that dad and I are always going to be here for her as long as God leaves us here on this earth.

My inner sadness is that I can not be as close to my son. He allows the women in his life to control how much time we spend with him. He never just calls or comes by to just chat. There is always a motive in his calls or his visits.

Any way it is very hard to be a Swan when it comes
to letting go of your older children. When ever they are ready to leave the nest. You still swim around in circles looking for anything that reminds you of them and will bring you closer to their memory.

Letting go is an art. You refine it each time another child leaves the nest. How ever if you are a Swan.......It still keeps you swimming around in circles looking for your family.