Well, now we have come to an area that every parent has faced at one time or another. Children are born in innocence only to be taught right from wrong at the very beginning of understanding. So it is cute as it is comical when we scold a two year old for doing something and even if they have the evidence right there in their hand. They lie and say, "NO".

After all we have maybe given them time out or tapped their hand to teach them, what they can or can not do. So now that they have done it. They know there has to be more behind mommy's words, so they are afraid and they naturally lie to be safe.

This is why I am a firm believer in allowing a child to touch objects and to stress, with their moment of curiosity that this is "Mommy's toy." It can only be touched if mommy allows you to touch it.

Instead of saying "NO" and just going on your way, if you allow the child to satisfy his curiosity of the object sometimes that is all that is needed.

Fear is never a good way to parent, however it has been used for decades, from the Boogie Man stories told by great grandma right down to the " You will get your butt spanked," sentence we all are guilty of using. So it really takes some creative parenting with toddlers to get them through the teaching of truth vs a lie.

Some children are never really taught about why it is bad to lie. They make it to first grade and the teacher reads them the "Cry Wolf" story before they even know lying is wrong.

Then there are those children who have lived a hard life and have found that telling a tall story is sometimes the best way to get out of a situation.

Usually those children learn to be perpetual liars. They tell such stories that they themselves do not always remember what actually is "the truth."

Teaching a child like this that there is no reason or need to lie is a hard task. They become so good at lying that they make it sounds so real. It is hard not to believe it.

I have come across a few of these children when dealing with families and foster care. I guess the one thing I detest most is a liar, because they cast the blame on innocent people and that to me is just wrong.

When I was fostering Billy, my girlfriend and I decided to split the boys and girls up. She would take the boys for the night and I would take the girls. I had no sooner dropped the boys off at her house and got back on the road that I had this feeling. I knew something was wrong. I didn't know what but as usual, I started with my kids and worked my way down until I narrowed the problem causing my feelings.

When I got home I immediately called to check on the boys. At first there was no answer. I thought how strange. Then my phone rang. It was one of the kids saying that Billy had slid down the slide at the park and had broke his arm. He was being taken to the hospital by EMS.

Of course I got the neighbor to watch the girls and I went running off to the hospital. I got there and asked where is my son. They knew nothing about a child with a broken arm. I was at the pay phones when I saw the EMS pull up and they wheeled Billy in.

I stayed with him for the whole incident. He was so brave. X-rays showed that he had broken the growth plate in his arm. That was the first of many visits to the doctor. It was very important that his arm heal properly or the arm would not grow correctly as he aged.

A few weeks later Billy came in sporting his bright orange cast. We had therapy that day and he was mad at me. He didn't want to go. But as we all know it is not a choice, you have to comply with what the plan is for the foster children.

When he got in with the therapist she asked him about his arm and he told her I had broken his arm. When the therapist called me in to talk alone, she told me what he said and I broke out laughing. I could not believe she would take him seriously. However she did and I ended up with my first investigation as a foster parent.

Well I knew I had not even been near him so I didn't worry, but after they came and grilled me with question after question. I kind of got upset. How could they even think I would do such a thing. Well I remembered the nurse that night and I told them to check with the hospital that I had arrived there even before he had.

I also told them to get the accident report filed by my friend and the boys at the park that day. Of course I was cleared. But that began me thinking. From that day on I began documenting every little thing that happened. I never wanted to have to go through an investigation again like that.

I had always believed Billy when he told stories of how his foster parents had choked him. Now I was not so sure what to believe or what not to believe. I talked to one of the behavior therapists and he asked me "Is his mouth moving?" I said "Yes", he said ok then "Assume he is lying until proven otherwise."

That's a little bit backwards from what our judicial system tells us. But with some kids it is common law. Never believe it until you confirm it.

Living life with a child or spouse that lies is not an easy task. You never know when they are telling the truth or if they are just spreading it on thick until they get caught up again.

But in the long run these lies catch up with them. It can be dangerous for other people who live with or around a person who consistantly lies.

Had I not made it to the hospital first... had my friend not made the accident report at the park... who knows what could have happened.

So if you know someone like this, remember to keep a good log on what happens and when it does and who is there.

Lying is not funny. It is like a disease to some people. It takes hard work and lots of therapy to overcome a life of lies.