Bipette asks, “How do you manage to love the kids and yet keep your own boundaries up enough that you aren't constantly riding the roller coasters these kids are on?” I went to bed last night with this question in my head, struggling to find the answer.

What are boundaries? If I don’t know, then I suppose I can’t keep my own boundaries up enough. Maybe I lost the right to boundaries when I chose to adopt older children? I am very enmeshed in my children’s issues as they affect every minute of my every waking hour. If I’m not dealing with an issue that is rearing its head, then I’m thinking about one that’s bound to arise soon enough.

I am obsessed with my family, they are all I ever think about and my involvement is approximately one million and ten percent. There’s simply no other way to make this work. I blogged about my obsessiveness here.

I also understand the curiosity of people and as I get new readers I repeat myself to some degree, but I have to say again – there’s way too much of my own personal intensity and energy. I need 39 children to divide it among; otherwise I’d easily drive the other 38 kids crazy.

I’ve parented for 34 years so far, it’ll be nearly 50 years of child-raising when my youngest child is grown so I have spread out my parenting years for all of my life. A teacher can be expected to keep 32 kids in line in a regular classroom, I’ve never had that many children at home at any one time, and I’ve never felt overwhelmed. I’m a retired schoolteacher who spent 25 years in the public school system therefore a roomful of children does not intimidate me at all.

I am now retired, I am home 24-7 and totally over-involved in my children’s lives, their church activities, soccer teams and other sports plus our family time. This is my life; it is all that I do. There are no boundaries for me.

Yes, Bipette, we have a huge house. I have added on to it four times, this is why my mortgage is not yet paid off at my advanced age (53). My parents also live here and help, my older children help more than one would ever imagine, and we have a doublewide on our property that always has several of my older children living in it. We are also blessed with a large swimming pool; we built it with inherited money when my sister passed away.

Our family ties are strong and solid. I see, or talk to nearly every single one of my children every day. Thank God for Verizon as I can call my son in Texas and talk for free.

Of course in the adoption of older children I have been estranged (their choice) at times from my kids as they flounder into adulthood, never though has this estrangement lasted, instead it has served to prove to them that I truly do love them and that my commitment as their mom is forever.

My grandchildren consider this, my house, as the “party house” since there is always something going on, always someone to play with, and visiting Abuelita (Grandma) is a blast. My grandchildren are why I stopped adopting as I also want to be freed up enough to attend their ballgames and events.

Bipette, I encourage you to consider adopting the next one as it seems your heart is being tugged in that direction. The need is great for available families.

Photo Credit Cindy Bodie