One of the hard things to learn about children who have been in Foster Care and have been put up for Adoption is how well they know and can use the system against you.

New parents have no clue about how things really work. So until they get their feet wet with a few really smart children. They won't know what hit them. (giggle)

It is like they know where your buttons are and they know how to pull the strings to get you to do what they want you to do for them.

They turn on the charm or the sad story and before you know it you are sucked in to their world hook, line and sinker.

You had better believe they know what they are doing as well. They will pit child against parent, parent against parent and sibling against sibling. Anything to take the spot light off their person and allow them the ability to do what they want without you realizing it.

Can you tell I have been brought up by some of the best manipulating children on earth? (smile) It took my husband and I years before we caught on to exactly how we were being played.

They would be one way with my husband when he was alone watching them and totally different with me when I was alone watching them. They would say little things to each of us that would get under our skin and make us think "how could he or she be so mean."

We finally learned that if we did not learn to communicate daily with one another. We would end up in divorce. The kids were out to destroy anything they could. Did they mean to do this? I would hope not. But they sure learned quickly how to cover their own butts and hang yours out to dry.

We would go into a therapist meeting and before you knew it. We were sitting there trying to explain our parenting skills instead of discussing our child's issues. Until one day we said "Stop. This is one of the Issues." Our child did anything and everything they could to not talk about their problems.

When the therapist would catch on to what they were doing. Suddenly they did not like this therapist anymore. After replacing the therapist a few times.
We caught on. Now we monitor the therapist and if we feel he or she is making progress. They stay with that therapist until the therapist feels they have done all they can personally and professionally to help.

Kids will manipulate their bed time, the T. V. shows the family watches. Everything right down to when they brush their teeth if you let them.

I can not tell you how many times I have stood at the doctors office feeling like I was the one with egg on my face. Because all the symptoms my child had told me they had prior to getting the appointment
to see the doctor. Suddenly were a gift of my imagination. I'd say they have a cough and they would say "No, I don't."

It took a long time but we finally captured the Manipulation Monster and became just a bit smarter than our best little stinker. Now April has manipulated herself right into a DHS Group Home and she does not like it. (hehehe)

It should be fun watching her manipulate her way out of this one. What she wanted was to upset our family
and scare me into allowing her to do what she wanted when she wanted. What she got was an 8 PM curfew, a 10 PM bedtime and we got a family vacation away from her darling little self.

We didn't really have to do or say anything. We just allowed her to talk her way right into DHS Foster/Group Housing. Living one block away from the county court house has detoured her from running away from the group home so far. Maybe this will be a good placement for her. Time will tell.