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Once upon a time I only had 16 children and so I had my home study updated for another adoption. I had an excellent caseworker who always wanted me to wait a couple of years between adoptions and back then I would have been too pushy without her putting on my brakes. Looking back, I’m certainly glad that she did so.
Back then I had several in college and one other who was grown but rebelling all over town, weird stories coming back to me that never made any sense. She was working and paying her own bills and my parental influence over her was real close to zero.
Or so I thought. In reality she’d listened to my admonitions and requests for her to continue her education and in her own time she did so. It took a very long time, she’ll graduate from college this spring after her 31st birthday but I’m still happy and proud.
In that year, 1998, I’d been staffed on two different sib groups. The staffings then weren’t the big deal they are now; basically two different Texas caseworkers had called me about two sibling groups, one a group of 3 and one a group of four.
I chose the group of four, figuring it’d be easier for the worker to find a family for the group of three, but the sad reality was that the three remained separated in foster care until they grew up. That has always haunted me.
I’d only submitted my study in on children without any studies as I never wanted to compete for children, I simply wanted, and still desire for all children to find families. That’s why I now work for Adopt America Network as I am personally finished adopting for our family.
While in Texas in 1998, I met another caseworker who later placed my last sibling group in our family, kind of closing the circle for me.
It was a small office in a small town and she remembered me, a single highly energized mama who already had a large family and willingly took on a tough group back then. The sibling group she staffed me for in 2005 ended my adoption efforts on a very positive note with four children whose issues and challenges were fairly normal considering what they’d been through.
I just closed out 2007 on a happy note, matching a local family with a rambunctious group of five children. Here’s hoping I can find more families willing to adopt sibling groups or a child in 2008.
Congratulations on finding a good family for the group of five kids! It is incredibly painful to me to think about how many kids never get a “forever family.” My daughter was scheduled to move from a residential treatment center to a long-term institution at the time when I applied to adopt her, and I still thank God every day that we crossed paths at that time. If I didn’t live in a small two-bedroom apartment, I’d adopt more kids, and hope to someday. The adults I work with who never found a stable family remind me daily of how important this is. Cindy, you are an amazing person.