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I heard the traffic reporter on the radio today claim that she was too blessed to be stressed. I ran the words through my head over and over until I realized that in spite of my very bad attitude lately over the huge battles I’ve fought in getting mental health services for my kids, I feel the same way.
Just physically making it through each day ought to be indication enough for me, adding in all the other outsides stressors and challenges, but then meeting each one head on, often with a pretty good resolution, reminds me of how blessed I really am overall.
I spent all day today again in my truck moving my seriously disturbed son from a crisis respite center three hours away to a psychiatric hospital finally. A battle that I’ve fought hard now for two months, finally resulting in getting him accepted there. Kind of like getting into an exclusive college with a B average, so impossible lately has this seemed.
We had to again sit through a therapist meeting and one with a psychiatrist. I immediately liked them both, very astute, to the point, and on-target in their assessments.
The psychiatrist seemed to be interested in the fact that Jose may have a brain injury. Brains are injured to some degree or another prenatally by expectant mothers who drink and do drugs. His birth mother certainly partied.
Jose was very fixated on coming home, “How long will I be here?” was his constant line of questioning, rarely listening for much of an answer. The psychiatrist explained that it was up to him, questioning him in such a way, that he then used Jose’s answers to formulate the response, using Jose’s words about himself to guide where the therapy would start and what it would cover. After resolving all those identified issues, then he’ll get to go home.
The psychiatrist will start with neurofeedback, a brain mapping program that will indicate areas of damage. This is scheduled for next week and I’m very interested in learning the results.
Halleluia Cindy!!! It was a pretty hard two months, but you made it and this is just step one on Jose’s journey to wellness. I hope he does well in this placement and you truly gets some answers. That’s half the problem isn’t it? Not knowing exactly what you’re dealing with in spite of testing/evaluations. Our kids have so many variables, so much that could be emotional trauma, or maybe organic brain injury – hopefully those answers will be forthcoming.
Sounds promising! Agree with the “too blessed to be stressed” idea. Thanks for sharing a much needed re-direct!
Oh my. Well, it seems that perhaps any further divisions re: adoptive parents being always told they are noble saints is now laid to rest.
It is amazing to me that after all these years of testing and therapy, NOW someone will check for fetal alcohol syndrome? My heart goes out to you both. Neither of you could have done anything to change organic brain damage. Bless your heart, Cindy.
Outstanding Cindy, I have never heard of a parent that was able to get long term psychatric care. How wonderful for Jose, and for you and your family. (I still think you must be able to walk on water). John
Thanks John, but in reality it may be just a few weeks or a month or who knows. He just called me tonight, talked to all the family, and he’s remarkably happy right now. He’s working hard on his issues and is on no meds at the moment, he’s set attainable goals that I hope and pray he’ll meet. I so want this to be a success story for him, he has to want it also though.
why edit those comments out? Some of us adoptive parents live with that every day in our homes. Junior versions of it anyhow. Attachment therapists tell us to hold it in our laps, cuddle it and tell it how much we love it. The world tells us what screwed up people we are after that. Those comments were a good public educational opportunity. From the mouths of babes.
Sue,
We edit out anything that violates our Terms of Service.
that does make sense. Cindy doesn’t need to deal with it, that’s for sure. Her plates’s full enough without all that! Perhaps there is a solution for adoptive parents. We need to assemble a Terms of Service agreement!