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From time to time. I like to share a little about myself and how we were brought up years ago.
My mom was married and had children prior to meeting my dad after her divorce. Her first husband beat her and the children. He deprived them of food. Which my mom washed floors and did laundry for neighbors to provide food for her children. Until one day after her handicapped baby died. She decided to leave this man.
About a year later she met my father who she refused to date. When my father found out she had children and was living in a shack and working hard to just to feed them. He followed her home one evening. He left and returned with his arms full of grocery bags. Without asking to come in he set the bags down, knocked upon her door and left.
Weeks went by and he kept doing things like this.
Sometimes he would include a game or some toys for the kids.
When she finally found out it was him doing this.
She was walking home from work and it was raining hard. He pulled up beside her and begged her to allow him to drive her home. My mom was so stubborn that she refused. So my dad parked the car and walked in the rain with her and helped her carry her things home.
The rest is history. He romanced her daily until they were married and they went on to have more kids. Out of 11 pregnancies. Five of us survived.
Two daughters and a son from her first marriage and my brother and I from her second marriage.
I was brought up without knowing that there was any difference at all between any of us. We were just one big happy family. I didn’t find out until I was 18 that my sisters were not full sisters.
Since my parents passed away. My older sisters and brother have made a small difference between us. But to me there has been no difference. I was brought up open minded and ready to love my family.
This past Christmas season was very hard on me. For the first time my Sisters made a big difference in my children and their babies. None of my children and grand children were included in gift giving over the holidays. Except for my daughter Angela.
However we were expected to buy for all of their kids and grand kids. This bothered me some but I didn’t make a big deal out of it. I just bought extra for my grand kids and pushed away the feelings.
As many of you know my oldest sister lost her husband this past year and has had a very hard time.
Emotionally and financially. So of course my husband and I have given to her to supply her needs
as much as we can. Which has included allowing her to use my car. She had no transportation and I do not drive in the winter. So I gave my car to her to use as she pleased.
My daughter wanted to come up for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. To spend them with us. Her car would not make the two hour trip up state. So I told my daughter she could go over to my sisters house and borrow my car for the trip up. Then just return the car to my sister when she went back down state.
When I told my sister about this at Thanksgiving. She didn’t say much. When I called her near Christmas to remind her that my daughter would be picking up the car so she and the kids would be safe on their way up here. My sister gave me an attitude.
My sister had paid 106 dollars for her insurance on the car. She was upset that she had to pay the insurance and then allow my daughter to drive it. She felt I should just give her the car and not ask her to allow my daughter to drive it up here.
I tried to reason with her and say if it were her son. Would she not allow them to borrow her car from me if I were using it. My concern was for the safety of my pregnant daughter and my two grand children. My car was more reliable. It was only for two days. I did not see the harm in this at all.
My conversation ended with me telling my sister I would pay back her 106 for her insurance on the car.
Which we have it under our PLPD already. Then I would pick up the car and solve the issue. Then she would be without a car again and I would just keep my car.
Well needless to say we did not talk over the week before the Christmas Holiday. I was very depressed.
My other sister called and yelled at me and told me that my adopted kids would never be there for me.
That I had better not depend on any of them. Her words just put me in a darker mood.
I really had to pray hard because I thought that if anyone on earth should understand adoption and the love of a father or mother who with out blood ties would step up and be a parent to children. They should. My dad was better to them than their own birth father. How could they not understand my love for my children?
No parent should have children and expect their child to be care giver and provider in their old age. Good loving children do take on this burden.
But many don’t. I would not want to live in the drama my children seem to have going on each day.
So Im planning to live in a Senior Community if the need arises.
It just shocks me that my own sisters who were taken in and provided for by a pre adopt father.
Can point their fingers and not accept my children as real family.
I do not know where this leaves me for future dealings with my sisters. But I do know that I love my kids and grand kids just as much as they love their own biological children and grand children. To me there is no difference.
I guess even in todays world some people do not have a clue and they are still living in the “Bad
Blood” attitudes against children. From days gone by. I am ashamed of my sisters and I sincerely pray for them.
