e-mail
Enu threw a raging fit the other day. The worst one ever regarding physical abuse (to me). After all was calm and Hubby had come home to help me, we discussed what caused the outburst, what we did right and no so right. It seems a tad bit humerous that I had been bitten and spat upon twice and yet we were excited over two things. One was that it had been three months since her last outburst (the longest period of calm she has ever had) and two was that it was short lived (about 25 minutes) and she rebounding very quickly.
Parents of older adopted children can see why we are so happy about the above mentioned fit. My mom, however, looked at me horrified when I told her. She couldn’t get past the biting and spitting part. It made me think about what I am actually going through right now. It doesn’t seem so normal to others, but it is my life. It is a wonderful life that is a bit hard right now, but we are getting through it.
The whole adoption process has been amazing and daunting at the same time. Scary but worthwhile. Exhausting yet exhilarating. I have no regrets, I have random thoughts of my easy past life. I need a break sometimes, I’m scared to take one at the same time.
If someone had told me two years ago what this would have been like, I would have not believed them. If you are considering adopting older children now or are early in the process, please see my posts as “real life” the good with the bad and not discouraging. So much adoption literature I read pre-adoption gave time-lines to bonding, attachment and a return to a normal life pattern. They were wrong in our case. I’ve lost my adrenaline as it is getting harder instead of easier.
Guess what? I just found another success in that last paragraph. It’s getting harder, because I care more now than ever. I love them more now than ever. My heart is warm, though my body is very tired right now!
You seem to be so strong!My son is a piece of cake and I’m grateful for that although he struggles in school a little. I respect you for what you are going through. Hats off to you-it seem to me that you are a wonderful mom! Dont give up it will all pay off when you see what women they turn out to be and it will be all because of you and your patience. That will be so rewarding. Wathching them graduate one day, find a great man that will one day be there husbands and then having kids and being wonderful moms like you!