Oppositional Defiant Disorder is something I think every child experiences at some age to a certain degree. But for those who are so overwhelming affected with this issue, it can be a huge problem to live with.

Children with ODD usually have patterns of behavioral issues including but not limited to actions such as these:

1. Often loses temper
2. often argues with adults
3. often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
4. often deliberately annoys people
5. often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
6. is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
7. is often angry and resentful
8. is often spiteful and vindictive

You can find a lot more information like the above behaviors listed on the Internet at: http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet.htm#_Toc121406160

If your child gets angry, deliberately annoys people, and is often spiteful and will argue with you as his or her parent, you might say he or she has ODD. If this happens more than twice a week, you can bet your boots they have it.

I have two adopted children that deal with ODD. If you put them together in one room. No one can stand it for any period of time. They badger each other to death.

If no one else is around they will turn on objects and scream at them. As if the object can open it's self. It is as if they must argue or be causing discontent all of the time.

They have problems with authority figures so they do not do well in school or at social activities where behavior is of the utmost importance.

They often can not hold down a job for long periods of time. They will argue with the boss and other employees.

So what causes ODD?

No one knows for certain. The usual pattern is for problems to begin between ages 1-3. If you think about it, a lot of these behaviors are normal at age 2, but in this disorder they never go away. It does run in families. If a parent is alcoholic and has been in trouble with the law, their children are almost three times as likely to have ODD. That is, 18% of children will have ODD if the parents are alcoholic and the father has been in trouble with the law. (13)

This statement comes from the on line site listed above. I found it a little shocking and obvious, because the birth father of my adopted children fits the bill. The kids seem to be following in his footsteps.

The article states that it begins at age 2 or so. We all call them the "Terrible Twos." Can you imagine your child never growing out of them.

The one thing I found most infuriating with dealing with my children with ODD was going to the doctor or the therapist office appointments.

No matter what I said the child always said "NO." Followed by some off the wall explanation. It seemed like they deliberately wanted us to look like idiots in front of these clinical experts.

I learned to sit there and give them enough rope to so call "hang themselves." I trusted that the therapist would know the behavioral issues of an ODD child. But most doctors look at you both like you are nuts as you disagree on what the problem is and why you are there in the first place.

If you say it is Red they will insist it was White. If you say they have a congested cough. They will say no I don't. I just clear my throat a lot.

So it is no surprise that when they become old enough to function on their own you feel like celebrating. (giggle)

The article on the web site gives great examples of how some children set up arguments between parents and adults. It also tells about how kids with ODD think... for example:

Recess is still the hardest time. Ryan tells everyone that he has lots of friends, but if you watch what goes on in the lunch room or on the playground, it is hard to figure out who they are. Some kids avoid him, but most would give him a chance if he wasn't so bossy. The playground supervisor tries to get him involved in a field hockey game every day. He isn't bad at it, but he will not pass the ball, so no one really wants him on his team.

A child with this disorder thinks they have friends. They will tell you all about them. But when it comes to having friends over or quality friendships they often are rare. No one can get along with them
for long periods of time without the child causing a disagreement. Even if they don't want to it just seems to happen.

I found a lot of what Dr. James Chandler MD FRCPC, has to say on his web site is very accurate. I highly recommend that you visit his site if you think there is a possibility that your child may have this disorder.

It is difficult to live with an ODD child. There are helpful parenting hints and some good information given by Dr. Chandler. It sure was enlightening to me. I hope it can help others out there also