Our home has always been full of kids. Even before we adopted. The kids from the neighborhood would always offer to help us bring in groceries or work in the yard. They knew I would always buy extra juices or fruit roll ups just for them. When the ice cream truck came around, I always pitched in the extra that any of the kids needed to get that super bomb pop or chips.

So it didn't even phase us when we adopted the kids, that our living room was full most of the time. The kids loved to hang around to see what was on for dinner. They knew Friday nights were pizza nights so of course they all came over for leftovers.

We had one group of kids that won my heart. They lived down the street and both of their parents were pretty messed up all the time. Mom and Dad had drug and alcohol problems so they were biding time until something happened.

I was so happy when grandma stepped up and decided to move in and take care of the kids. I often helped out when ever I could so she could keep her part time job, so the kids were like family.

One day the older girl came over and she began to talk to me. She told me that she wished she had a mom like me. She went on to tell me she wanted to grow up and be a social worker so she could help other kids like her brothers and sisters. I was so proud of her she really did apply herself in school. She wanted a better life and she knew she had to work hard to get it.

Over the years I have heard so many kids say they wished they could live with a friend and their family. What was it that they saw and wanted so badly that they would give up their own family?

Something was attracting those kids. Was it love? Was it discipline? Was it how the family ran their everyday household? It could be one of a million good things or one or two bad things.

I, of course, never thought I would hear my kids say they wanted to live with some one other than us. But one day those words came rolling out of my daughter's mouth. She wanted to live with her friend and their family.

I had met the people. They struggled to keep their utilities on. They had one son removed from their home for violence. Their daughter was loud and obnoxious. I personally wanted to adopt their daughter and save her from that household. How on earth could my daughter want to live with those people?

It has been two years, and I finally found out what attracted my daughter to them. They allowed their daughter to smoke in their home. She also had birth control. They would leave the kids alone to go have coffee half the day. They would invite my daughter to drink coffee. It wasn't love or anything good. It was the lack of love and parenting that drew her.

There are a lot of kids out there looking in. What do they see? What about you or your family will draw them in? What do you have to offer as a family that would make a child want to be apart of your home life?

The grass always looks greener in someone else's yard. But you don't know what is in the grass! It could be full of ants or the home of a snake. At least in your own yard you know what is living there. So it is safer in your own yard.

As for the kids who live in abusive homes. Well any yard looks better to them. They are living with the ants and the snakes. They can't get away from the danger on their own.

That is why our kids need loving and attentive mentors. Someone to talk to that can help them see there is a better future, if they work hard to earn it.

Richard Robertson tells a story about his life. His mother was brutally raped and she became pregnant with him through this rape. She had every right in the world to abort him, To want to forget about her dilemma. But she chose to let her baby live. She could have adopted him out. But she didn't do that either. She chose to be his parent.

He grew up to be a wonderful minister of the gospel. I think his mom could have found someone else's back yard a little greener also.

It all depends who is on the outside looking in.