As we learn more and more details of the Virginia Tech murderer, many questions are being raised about, “Why wasn’t something done? This was obviously a disturbed person.”

An adoptive mother called me yesterday in frustration. Her daughter, a sexual perpetrator, diagnosed with several mental illnesses is facing the magic age of 18, a legal adult. What will happen now?

She cannot go home as the victims of her abuse still live in that home, plus the family is finishing up a home study update so that they can adopt again. Having an adult sexual perp in the house would place everyone in jeopardy.

I do not recall all the details of this young lady’s adoption. I don’t remember how old she was then or even who her victims were in the house. I know however that sexual perps are rarely “cured.”

The facility in which this young girl now resides is looking to end their association with her, not claiming success, but realizing that she can check herself out at age 18.

If she commits a crime after that, confinement could be recommended but I believe that statistically, more help is unlikely.

What does a mother do? She can seek help for her daughter, but she can’t make her daughter participate in counseling or therapy, her Medicaid coverage will end, this same umbrella that has paid for the previous years of help.

Likely this young lady will be absorbed into the street people population in Atlanta; paying bills, budgeting, and having stable relationships do not appear to be possible for her. It is so sad, and I don’t have answers, yet I know that many parents who have adopted older children face these same challenges.

My 18 year old son is locked up right now in a detention facility, struggling with several mental health diagnoses, I’m not certain he’ll ever be able to function normally in society.

Our society is not set up to deal with mental illnesses in adults. That’s why our homeless population, the criminal population and our mental hospitals may appear to be in disarray, so overwhelmed.

I spent 25 years working in the public school system in Georgia, the teachers often expressed opinions regarding exactly who the potential school shooter could be, it was obvious that we had some very troubled, disturbed students, yet fortunately we were wrong. Even if we’d been right, I don’t see how we could have prevented something from occurring, how could we have predicted the future? A lot of our students did grow up to commit serious crimes such as murder, were we right after all?

This mom I spoke with yesterday painted a bleak future for her daughter, but there is nothing this mom can do to prevent it. She loved her daughter through the turmoil and the problems, even as this girl victimized family members. This mom did all she could do, she sought help time and time again.

The parents of the Virginia Tech murderer are inconsolable, they raised another daughter perfectly and I do not believe that they failed this young man. I simply do not see what they could have done to prevent the obvious mental illness in him.