Be Aware. You are not the only Ant attending this picnic.

More and More children from foster homes and the general families around America are aging out more quickly. Most without the life skills they will need for the basics of living alone.

For some reason they can not maintain life with mom or dad and they are seeking a way out. Some families allow their "problem teen" to live with a relative. Some have serious issues and the teen ends up in state care.

Others are aging out of Foster Care Homes. But do not have a clue how to be on their own. So DHS has been placing these children in extended placement which they call "Group Homes or Independant living."

In this home they are to get a job, get a checking account, learn to cook, learn to pay bills and make proper decisions. If they are making inappropriate decisions and not able to live in a group surroundings. They once again move to another opportunity AKA what I would call "Foster Home."

Once again this leads me into wondering why they are cut off of state funding to begin with. They are simply taken off one program and put on another with another type of family.

In a perfect world the state would allow the Foster Parent and State worker to make an assessment when the child became 18 as to if the child was emotionally and physically prepared to live on their own. If not the original Foster Parent should be allowed to do this basic training with the child and be paid for it. Instead of separating the child from any family ties they may have and pushing them out into another "family" and thinking they can achieve faster.

Thus, I come to my reason for using an "Ant" to explain my feelings. Like any other picnic. Every Ant has their job to go out and find food and bring it home to the table. Unless the child has other issues that cause displacement. I don't think they should be made to "fit in" to another family type unit.

Let's face it some one needs to show these children what being a family really means. Learning to be on their own is an open process that we all have to learn at some point.

I thought independent living would be just that. Small apartment units where someone would stop in once or twice a week to see if they were working, purchasing necessities and balancing their checking properly.

Not living with six other teens and a Foster Mom.
Who has set rules and like children they are expected to systematically follow them.

If this is the case why end foster placement at 18 in the first place. Just do an assessment and put the child on a living plan and let the Foster mom who knows them best help them learn to fly on their own.

If a peer group is needed. Put the pre adult with people that they will acquire healthy knowledge from not peers who are in the same sinking boat that they may be in.

I see all this from the inside. Due to my daughter April. She has not got a clue to what being an adult or being on her own is about. If she has 20 dollars her first thought is where can I buy tobacco. Then after her habit is taken care of she uses the rest of her money to purchase 50 other things, that runs through her mind and not one of them is gas for a car, food for her stomach or to save it for a bill.

At 17 she thinks getting an allowance is still cool.
We were never able to work with her on banking and bill paying or any of the natural things of life.
Her body may be almost 17 but her mentality is somewhere around age 7.

What do you think? Are pre adult group homes needed?
Can normal pre adult children learn better in a peer group home? Or do you think lengthening the time limit on aging out of foster care homes should be considered? Or is a family unit the place they find their wings and learn to fly on their own?

Ants do not always follow in line. They scatter and learn to conquer the world but they return to the same ant farm at the end of the day.