I’m not going to take this opportunity to complain about the emotional challenges that holidays bring to traumatized children. I think I’ve mentioned that before. I’m trying my best to totally tone down Christmas this year, to make it more about family and food, less about stuff.

My kids have been off the wall all month. Hyperactive, anxious, brittle nerves on edge, and difficult to reason with, they’ve pushed my buttons for weeks. We’ve been terribly busy with two different musicals, a band concert, upcoming school parties, one daughter’s cheerleading schedule, and the normal busyness of a large family.

I have to wonder at the wisdom of packing so much in this month, but I’ve not seen anywhere that we could beg off gracefully. We’re simply very busy.

My cute but oppositional son had a meltdown Thursday morning, refusing to go to school until I had everyone else ready and gone, then he wanted to negotiate. I don’t think so. School is a rule, not a bargaining chip. This only resulted in more consequences such as fewer privileges.

He came home cheerful as all get out that afternoon, like nothing had happened, like my blood pressure didn’t spike past a reasonable danger zone.

I’ve raised enough children already to realize that one’s behavior as a child is fairly indicative of the functioning level of an adult. If one doesn’t respect authority now, it’s even less likely that it’ll happen when one is physically larger.

Yes I’ve seen children make remarkable turnarounds, but this level of defiance is disturbing in a ten year old. We have a family therapist who provides explanations, understanding and insight to me, she also counsels my children without them comprehending that she is a professional. Somehow they believe she is their adult friend, although I’ve used the term therapist often in reference to her, her demeanor and ability to inspire their trust is impressive.

I’m in it for the long haul with my children and with this therapist; I see no other way for my once traumatized children to recover than with professional help, love and commitment.

Photo Credit Cindy Bodie