When your adoption is final and your child is home. The world is just opening up to your whole family.

It may take months or years before things really settle down and you both consider yourself as a family unit. But the feeling of belonging is something that is precious. Once it is there it will grow stronger and stronger.

For the first few months you may have to put your child's needs first. Learning the things that are important to the child and allowing the child to grieve their loss. This is going to take time, effort and emotional support. The best thing you can do is just be there and supply a stable home and since of family life for the child.

There is a terrific book that Michigan MARE Adoption
puts out. It is on Older Child Adoption. It is very well written and I found myself learning a bit from it even after 12 years of adoption.

If anyone is interested in knowing more or having me post some of the comments and paragraphs in the booklet. Leave me a comment and let me know. I will be happy to enlighten you as the little booklet enlightened me on a few things.

The more you know about your adopted child the better you will be able to provide for his or her needs. Do not be afraid to talk to them about their past home life and parents. Ask what good memories they have or what they did for holidays.

When adopting an older child you adopt part of their past with them. It will always be there. Just help them focus on the good memories not the bad.

Healing takes time. One day you will find your child's greatest need is you and your greatest need is them. That is what family is all about.