My one birth child, almost 34 years old, looks at the world very differently now for two reasons. The main reason is that she’s expecting her second child late next month but also the past 20 years of either living in or around our family gives one an interesting perspective on parenting and child raising.

The other 38 children all came to me due to a lack of parenting from different caretakers, and the fall-out from such has been tremendous. While it is often easy to step back and comprehend why my children act this way, it is never so simple to deal with the anger. I am often sucked in to the drama no matter how much I try and resist. They keep pushing buttons, escalating until broken windows result, in an attempt to recreate the chaos that they once knew and were comfortable within.

This birth child of mine, Sarah, herself born to an inexperienced, but loving mama, is now reading the biography of a woman who’s grown up to be quite a famous chef and Sarah is incensed at some child rearing techniques and explanations described by this woman.

Is Sarah now hyper-sensitive to perceived degrees of neglect? A stay-at-home mom who has managed to build an accounting business, she’s overly sensitive to the needs of children who want their mama 24-7…and what kid doesn’t? I have twenty something year olds who want me at home; just knowing that I am there eases their minds as their birth moms were always out partying.

The world of raising older adopted children is a very different one; where older kids are still emotionally the age of a toddler, constantly needing reassurance and attention. It’s way more exhausting and way less enjoyable to wipe the nose of a crying older teen. One who is having a toddler tantrum; screaming on the inside, “Prove that you love me when I am obviously so unworthy.”

And on and on it goes.