The four kids I raised since they were babies had plenty of opportunities to absorb the correct behavior techniques and the little things in life that make one fairly civilized.

My other 35 kids have been more of a challenge. Like who doesn’t know that the shower curtain liner goes inside the tub? I’ve spent years and years railing over this one fact. Duh if you leave it on the outside all the water runs on the floor. I have to replace an entire bathroom floor that has eroded, corroded and flat rotted out after almost 15 years of liquid abuse.

My only RAD daughter used that bathroom for 8 years, willfully destroying as much as possible, anything to infuriate that lady who dared to love her, but this child had severe hygiene issues as well, a dedicated feces smearer who could lie and steal better than any con I ever saw on Court TV.

She’s now in a therapeutic respite home. I have mixed feelings about respite situations. I’m grateful for us to have the opportunity, yet all it really did was make me realize how much stress and pressure she put us through. She neither misses us, nor gives a good cahoot. In her mind, she’d already stolen all we had; she looked forward to new targets.

I don’t know what’ll happen in this situation. She’s not a danger to our home, like some severely emotionally disturbed children have been; she’s just a supremely difficult child. Her thievery invited the Department of Juvenile Justice into her life plus the very capable local adolescent mental health services. They used a team of counselors to absolutely no avail; they never felt as if they got through to her.

I understood their frustration: I shared it as well. This young lady would have had to grow a conscience for anyone to make any progress with her. Just as my three other severely disturbed children, all in lock-down situations, either punitive or psychiatric, the chances for success are slim.

I’m believing, with my usual goofy mix of optimism and positive thinking, that with maturity will come reasoning abilities someday. In the meantime, I’ll keep seeking resources, residential placements and the help that they so obviously need.