A dentist once told me, “If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll not be able to care for your children.”

The Bible tells us we are to ‘die to self,’ to care more about others and somewhere I need to find my balance.

It’s a real big duh to think that 39 children can be a demanding experience. Never overwhelming, yet I’m always trying to think ahead and to plan, to make sure we have enough groceries, meals planned, clothes washed, agenda books signed and all the other demands of daily life.

As such I may never get bored and I’m also never caught up on everything.

I’m at a point now in my life when I’m catching my breath somewhat, I have slightly more children over 18 than under, no one in diapers anymore, and everyone in school and some of our terribly major issues have been resolving themselves to some degree.

Respite for me is not an option. My children are too demanding, overly possessive of me, and too insecure for me to ever not be there for them. They’d never understand the concept of Mama needing some space so I’ve had to carve it out here amongst our acreage.

72 degrees today beckoned me outside to get the garden beds ready. It’s now time in Georgia to plant beets, carrots, peas, potatoes, lettuce, onions and other crops that don’t do well in our very oppressive summer heat.

I feel as if I’ve been sprung from a box. Kind of a silly feeling considering our winter is mild, but it always seems like a never ending cold flash to me.

If I didn’t have my gardens I’d be bonkers no doubt. It’s MY area, my time and my passion outside of my family. It’s sometimes the only thing that makes sense to me. We all need food, let me grow it…it gives me time to ponder my children’s issues.

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