My resentment level has lately grown huge, way past my own level of acceptability. I don’t know why I expect people to understand why I willingly adopted older children, at times I can’t even articulate it past the lame sounding, “I felt called to do so,” explanation. But isn’t that enough?

Why do folks think it’s necessary to share with me the story of a parental murder by an older adopted child or how another family lost everything they owned via international adoption expenses? Are folks simply trying to justify or rationalize why they aren’t adopting? To me they don’t need to do so, I don’t expect many people at all to want to adopt older children, just as I don’t want to be an overseas missionary nor an AIDS activist nor a volunteer at a hospital.

I wasn’t called to do so, it’s not my cup of tea, but I greatly admire the people who do those things. I don’t think of ways to condemn nor look down on them for their mission in life.

I often feel that children are devalued, that people who choose to work with children are looked at as if they couldn’t measure up to adult work. Maybe my skin isn’t as thick as it once was or maybe it’s the culmination of twenty years of stupid and inane comments, but I wish if people didn’t have something nice to say to me, they wouldn’t say anything at all.

And I know I need to work on my own short temper lately regarding the barbs, to not let other’s opinions affect me at all, to continue doing what I feel called to do which is raise my predominately Mexican family with all our issues, challenges and struggles.

I don’t ask for help very often, I have nothing that would make anyone jealous of me, certainly few material possessions, and lately some of my grown son’s lawbreaking antics have shamed me deeply.

Two other notable adoptive parents wrote of similar experiences today here and on this blog.

Being the mama is tough, hard work, it’s ultimately rewarding although it’s going to take many more decades before I can safely and assuredly be proud. In the meantime, just a little peace, and some relief from armchair critics would be a refreshing change of pace.

Photo Credit Cindy Bodie