As I read this article on homeless children, its irony was not lost on me. I have worked myself to the bone, providing a home for children, children who once had no clue about where they’d live, or if they’d be able to remain with their siblings.

Yet this once nice home here, before children with severe destructive tendencies moved in, is also the same home that they choose to run away from in anger, unable and unwilling to face their emotional pain and work through it.

We have a swimming pool, TVs, computers and Nintendo games. We have a large play area, trampolines, books to read and games to play. There is always something to do and someone to play with in a very safe environment. These homeless children, in this article, would jump at the chance to live like this, as would millions of orphans throughout the world.

Yet my ungrateful children scoff, sneer and complain at what’s been provided for them. I’ve learned, in the adoption of older children, to “expect nothing in return.” A therapist advised me of that, it’s neither negative nor self-protective thinking on my part. It’s a stark reality.

Truthfully it goes against my very grain so I continue the uphill battle of teaching them gratitude and manners. Oh my goodness, without my own internal attitude of gratitude, I doubt I could even function, and I want to teach the kids the benefit of it, so that they not grow up disgruntled and dissatisfied with life.

“Get real kids,” I sometimes squall in frustration, “very few waiting older sibling groups even get adopted. Y’all were given this opportunity and you need to make the most of it for your own benefit, not for mine.” I’d be more effective trying to teach my dogs to dance.

I’ve already accomplished many of my own daunting goals; I have many more that don’t even involve the kids, my own personal goals and dreams. I need to teach this concept, this exciting way of life to inwardly fearful kids who act out in response to someone believing in them and in their potential.

I know from my emails, my friends and my experiences that this is a very common thread amongst adopted older children and we parents are terribly frustrated. We watch our children run, full of rage, away from the only people who’ve ever truly loved them. We watch them leave beautiful homes and take up with thugs in the projects, breaking our hearts, when we wanted so much more for them than they did.

If it is any consolation to other parents, and believe me I know your pain, I’ve been there many times, and these same kids do come back around. It takes years and years, a lot of hard knocks out in the world before they truly acknowledge our love for them. It takes patience and understanding on our part, emotional growth and maturity on their part. Then both parts make a whole and we, as parents, can go forward with our children in a more normal manner than we once did when they were raging like lions in our homes.