I’ve spent all week struggling with bureaucracies and my son who is in a short-term psychiatric placement. I’m trying to find him residential psychiatric care as he has become unmanageable in our house.

If I just refuse to take him from the state hospital he is now residing at, I’d be charged with abandonment. If I bring him home, it would be after several professionals have deemed him a danger to our family. I would knowingly be bringing a potentially homicidal child home and if something happened, if he attacked a child, I’d be charged with negligence.

I can’t even get into all the details at the moment. There are many unresolved issues within this child, a budding schizoaffective disorder and an absolute lack of logic. Regular counseling has not worked. He understands little of the cause and effect, give and take routines of life. His anger is unmitigated and directed at me usually but if anyone smaller is around, they’ll do.

Our state has drastically cut funds for mental residential treatment. It is a ‘return them to the community’ and offer wrap around services program. This would be a good idea on a moderately depressed patient possibly, but a severely disturbed, murderous teenager needs residential services, 24-7. And the state and insurance companies plus Medicaid need to make this possible, this is a kid who will likely end up in jail otherwise.

I’ve asked them to make us a test case for funding, do whatever it takes to get him admitted.

This afternoon I called some state numbers, Georgia’s version of National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) only to get a recording. Another call I made had a recording asking me to press one if this is a crisis situation. I pressed one and another recording directed me to leave a message.

My son’s birth siblings don’t want him to come home right now; they want him to get help. Sadly, with him gone, we have had a great deal of peace, not one single punched in wall, no furniture slung across the rooms, and no violent threats issued. I hear this is how normal folks live and I could get used to it.

But first I have to get him into a safe place where he can be helped.