Shopping A Year Later

When my girls first came home I avoided all shopping with them. It was several weeks before they saw the inside of a store and months before I did any major shopping with them. The first time I took them to Wal-Mart was to spend some gift cards that were given to them from friends. I initially didn’t want to take them shopping, but they were having such a hard time with the “things” that their sisters had and they didn’t. I thought I would take them and let them pick out their own stuff and not hand me downs others had picked out for them.

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This trip was comical now that I look back. I took just Mita and Enu, and left the other two at home. We went to our local Wal-Mart and I took them immediately to the Girls section. I knew that the toy section would be a bit much for them. They were overwhelmed by just walking in the doors. We searched through hair things, purses and clothes until they both had their $25 spent. We then walked to the checkout and they paid with their cards. The cashier wanted to give them their cards back , but I asked her not to, as the girls would think they could use the card again.

When we got home, they posed for a picture wearing their new bling and then immediately tucked thier purses and hair bobbles away. I did not see these new things for quite a while. Every once in a while I would tell them to take their new purse with them or suggest that they wear their headbands that were still new with tags on. It took a lot of time, I’m talking months here, before they would actually use the things they had bought.

This was astounding to me as they did not normally take care of things. I must tell you that I was quite irritated by this and tried to find a way to make them understand that all the things in our home were to be treated well, not just their new things they bought.

Today I took Enu shopping to spend her birthday money. It was just me and her. We had gotten her hair trimmed and styled for the Daddy-Daughter dance we had tonight. She had $55 and was itching to spend it. At the store she was unusually quiet and subdued. It amazed me how similar this trip was to that first shopping trip a year ago. She had a hard time deciding what to spend her money on and was anxious about not finding exactly what she wanted. She finally settled on a game for her DS, sunglasses and a purse. She also saved enough money to buy a butterfly chair sometime, as we could not find one today. I was impressed with her purchases and her ability to save some money.

Today’s shopping trip taught me that Enu is doing better with her impulse control. She wore her sunglasses today and even took her new purse with her to the dance. She was quiet though, her head hurt a bit and it was obvious she was overstimulated. Again, I was reminded that adjusting to a new life, takes a long time. A year is just not enough time and I need to continue to be patient with my loves and not expect too much.

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