Nancy posted about families with one kid that causes more problems than the rest and I have my own two cents worth as I do agree with her 100%

A parent simply can’t treat all kids the same way, can’t be fair all the time to all the kids. In our family some kids have earned more privileges than others just as some have lost more. That’s how the world functions.

I have a 20 year old who lost his driver’s license for six months and another 20 year old who didn’t because he paid for his ticket and didn’t miss his court date. That’s the way the world functions.

I have kids who didn’t have to attend summer school because they did their work and passed their classes versus those who chose not to do their homework. That’s the way the world functions.

I spend most of my time teaching my kids how the world functions because they didn’t know that before they were adopted. They lived in chaos and irresponsible, neglectful living conditions during their formative years and it left indelible scars on them.

So we do what we call the umbilical cord replacement activity. The kid who is acting out the most is often the kid who needs the most one-on-one attention, and it is also the kid who the parent least wants to spend time with as it seems that most of the interactions are negative.

I have to force myself to participate. My favorite pastor pointed out, “the ones who are the hardest to love need love the most,” and he’s right. I need to be reminded of that.

I’ll spend an afternoon with a raging kid, sometimes only allowed to venture two or three feet away from my side. I’ve had kids go find belts on their own and laughingly attach themselves to me, greatly limiting my own mobility and speed, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay. It’s, in reality, an extended time-out but it is effective in building a relationship and trust between us, as we’ve made it more of a game than a punishment.