The Atlanta Journal Constitution had written a series about some terribly sad deaths in Georgia in mental hospitals resulting in a lawsuit and an investigation which unfortunately has made it a million times more difficult to find help for severely disturbed children. This is a painful-to-read series and there's more to each story plus another side.

There are not enough foster homes for troubled adolescents, an article yesterday in the AJC bemoaned this fact, and many of these kids end up in beds in mental facilities whether they need to be there or not, leaving folks who seriously need the psychiatric help out in the cold.

I have no answer here, I’m only pointing out a massive problem. This editorial addresses a situation I find myself in with my 19 year old bipolar son. I believe that I adopted some right tough kids.

I’m going to extend this problem past this into a shout-out over the fact that when adoptive parents or foster parents reach out for the help that their children need for their problems caused years ago in the birth family, we are constantly slapped down and blamed as well. We have too many kids or we’re not parenting correctly, or we’re too firm/flexible/unstructured/rigid or whichever way their thought process seems to flow at the moment.

It’s hard for me to be angry at the social workers either since they are terribly over-worked and under-supported by everyone on earth. If a birth mom lets a convict live with her and he kills or injures a kid, a caseworker gets blamed and fired. HUH? The caseworker didn’t bring this felon into the home; the caseworker can’t be there to protect the children.

Why are we blaming the folks who are trying to help? The ones deep in the trenches like the social workers who spend nights in the offices with kids who have no place to go? Why are we castigating the adoptive parents who dared to love children with severe issues? Or the foster parents who must say good-bye to children they’ve grown to love, knowing that too often those kids are going back into terrible environments.

The social workers, the adoptive parents and the foster parents need support and resources, not ill-placed blame and criticism. Even if we parented differently, the kids would still be mentally ill. We can’t change that horrible fact, we can only keep searching for help, support and non-existent resources while weathering criticism and disdain from others who just don’t get it.