My seven year old son told me to look at the TV last night. “Mom, it looks like that guy’s dad is sitting next to a pile of tires in the house.” He was referring to Shaquille O’Neal and some white kid in his new show.

I replied, “Honey, that’s not his dad, that’s Shaq,” and I went on to explain who he was in the NBA.

I’m struck by the fact that my son just assumed that was the father because my family is comprised of many skin colors. We have very light skinned Hispanics, dark skinned Hispanics, an African-American son-in-law, Chuck, and three AA/Hispanic grandchildren. My son, born and raised in Georgia, just naturally assumed they were related since his Uncle Chuck has always been his Uncle.

Racial tolerance is not taught here, it’s lived here, not coming up in conversations but taken for granted. Yes I’d teach it if it were an issue and it probably will be at some point, someone’s going to be insulted or slighted, and we’ll then deal with it appropriately.

I have so many issues to cover with my children and so little time when I consider that many were pre-teens when they joined out family. I’m big on reading, their academics, environmental issues, sustainable gardening and personal budgeting.

I need to work on good sportsmanship, etiquette, and leadership. I take them to church and they play school and county rec department sports, but once I stop and think about all the issues that they’ve joined our family with, our little time together, often just ten years or so, it just flies by with me wringing my hands over all the areas that we didn’t get covered.

Fortunately most of my kids remain close to me when grown but then we have the normal tension of an interfering mom versus adult children trying to become independent. They need help at times and resent it at other times. Then they have children and I fret over what I feel I didn’t get covered for them.

A tremendous asset for us has been the fact that I, as a former school library media specialist, have always stressed reading. “Readers are leaders,” I’ve yapped until they’ve rolled their eyes, but it’s so true. I’ve modeled how to find information, to not quit until you do so, and that somewhere, somehow there’s an answer to each problem or challenge.

It’s a small start in a family where time together is unnaturally limited due to the unique aspects in the adoption of older children.