How does one teach 39 children to be good money managers? By example.

Have I succeeded 100%? Nope. But it wasn’t for a lack of trying. I literally had one daughter tell me, this is a college educated daughter, “Mom, I want to make my own mistakes.”

Huh? How about, “I want to make my own decisions?” That’d be a better choice of words.

I feel that I have a massive responsibility to my children to demonstrate good money management, to provide for them, and to help them pay for college. That may mean I spend an exorbitant amount of time filling out college scholarship applications, but I don’t mind. My parents got me through college; I’d like to do the same for my children and to teach them all to be financially independent.

The biggest struggle I seem to be up against would be impulse spending on their part. Deferred gratification seems to be an esoteric concept, I’m not getting anywhere on that; yet other grown children of mine have started their own businesses, three have purchased houses, they are all taking care of their children, and several work two jobs. I’m very proud of their accomplishments.

I despise credit card debt. I’ve tried to counsel my children to not get sucked in to that mentality, it is very seductive, this I realize. I truly believe that one should tithe 10%, invest 10%, and live on 80%. Investing can, and should, include pre-payment of the mortgage principle.

If I can do this, they should also be able to do this, and it involves the ability to not be seduced by materialism. Obviously a 52 year old mama is less drawn to fashion and stuff, but if I’d not always been this way, then I would have been unable to live the life I’ve chosen, that of a single mom with 39 kids.

I’d much rather not be burdened with possessions and bills. I’d rather be free from debt and live on way, way less than most people.

I scour the internet for hints, help and ideas on finances, on simplicity and making do with less. There are a great many sites devoted to these concepts and I eat them up.

Teaching children to balance a checkbook, plan a budget, and live within it is difficult but vitally important. I have one son who chose to learn the hard way, and break the law several times, yet he managed to pay his fines and his lawyer on his own, now he’s working two jobs and supporting his daughter, obviously some of it got through to him.

They’ve all bought cars and live on their own, those who’ve made mistakes are working to rectify the situation, it’s slow but possible.

My children, adopted as older children from the system, need so much more teaching than the few short years I seem to be allowed to raise them. When one gets a 13 year old, one has a very short time in which to teach a great deal of concepts. Fortunately they remain close to me in their adulthood and I can continue with what I need to impart to them.

Some briefly rebel against me, create periods of painful estrangement that never last too long, yet they remain in contact with others in our family, maintaining ties and a sense of control. OK, I can wait them out. BTDT, it’s part of the process, I’ll love them through it.