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Growing up and learning to be on your own as an adult is not always an easy task.
For some of our adopted children it gets even worse when they have what I call a “Memory Attack.”
My oldest daughter lost her mucus plug today and that means we will be welcoming her newest baby very soon. She is very stressed out at the moment because once again mom and dad had to step in and rent them a house.
Her husband has been out daily looking for work. So for not even Mc Donalds or Burger King is hiring.
Not to mention that it is unbearably cold and the tempatures are hitting below zero. The wind chill factor is even worse.
As I talked with my daughter today she just broke down and cried. She finally told me that she didn’t want to be like her birth mom and keep having babies she could no support. Her doctor is giving her a hard time about having her tubes tied.
This is her Third child and as much as she wants a daughter, she is willing to stop having children and later on in life adopt a daughter when things are more stable financially for them.
It was all I could do to assure her that she was in no way like her birth mother. There is such a big difference between them. She loves her boys and she is an awesome mom. They always come first no matter what. Her birth mother had drug habits and alcohol habits and none of her children were ever properly taken care of.
I sincerely hate when the old memories creep back in and scare the day lights out of my children. They spend way to much time wondering and worrying “What if…”
God knows if I could I’d give my kids the world so they would never have to worry again. But worry is part of life and very much a part of maturing. Learning to turn the worry into the process of meeting a goal.
Just because someone in your personal family was not a good person does not mean that you are anything like them or that you will one day make their same mistakes.
Yes we tend to pick up family traits. But just as we pick them up we can also change them if they are affecting our life in a negative way. We all have areas of our character that we must work on.
Walking down memory lane just to allow the past to attack your thoughts is not a good thing to allow yourself to do. Looking back and saying I will never be like that because I have the knowledge and power to be better than that…is a good way to approach those thoughts.
We all have ghosts in our closets and from time to time we take them out to look at them and reason them away. Only to return them to the place they belong….In the past.
I think that’s why each new day is called the “Present.” Because we have the ability to open the package and view it as a gift and what we do with the time held inside is our own decision.
So I look forward to the present. It holds hope for me each day. How about you? How do you handle the memories? All your comments are welcomed.
