Years ago it was taboo to talk about sex. In some ways it still remains The Unmentionable Crime. Every day children are victimized by someone they know. They are introduced to sexual activities that they are not emotionally ready to experience.

Most people think of child sexual abuse and think of some outside person molesting children. Even though this does happen, and child sex offenders are walking in our midst, it is people that the child most likely knows that offend and cause the most trauma to children in families.

Child Sexual Abuse
A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet
Julia Whealin, Ph.D.

Child sexual abuse includes a wide range of sexual behaviors that take place between a child and an older person. These sexual behaviors are intended to erotically arouse the older person, generally without consideration for the reactions or choices of the child and without consideration for the effects of the behavior upon the child. Behaviors that are sexually abusive often involve bodily contact, such as in the case of sexual kissing, touching, fondling of genitals, and oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse. However, behaviors may be sexually abusive even if they don't involve contact, such as in the case of genital exposure ("flashing"), verbal pressure for sex, and sexual exploitation for purposes of prostitution or pornography.

Julia Whealin gives an in depth description there of what sexual abuse can consist of. She goes on to say that "Most often, sexual abusers know the child they abuse but are not relatives. In fact, about 60% of perpetrators are non relative acquaintances, such as a friend of the family, babysitter, or neighbor."

In almost all cases the child suffers from PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder). When we think of PTSD we think of soldiers that have been away and seen the devastation of war. Well children experience the devastation of their body being violated. Something they can not stop and can never erase, usually forced upon them by someone they thought was a friend.

This is a common issue with older children who come into adoption. Some feel free to talk about what happened to them and others hide it and never want to speak of it again. Either way the child's emotional conduct will reflect the trauma brought upon them.

As we learn more about Child Sexual Abuse we can fight to stop what is happening to our children. We can make parents aware and let families know what kind of behaviors to look for in the child who has been abused and in the predator, to keep children from being abused.

There is a new campaign called "Stop It Now" that has a web site to help prevent child sexual abuse. http://www.stopitnow.com It is filled with information on warning signs and stories of hope.

I encourage any parent who has a child that has been through any type of sexual abuse to take classes and to learn about the emotional hardship that their child maybe dealing with.

Be aware of the signs. Some children may never open up and talk about what may have happened to them. A few minutes of research can help you be more open to talking with your child about sex.

Three of the children I adopted were sexually abused prior to coming into my home. I had to learn about the abuse and the signs of it. I had to make decisions on how to handle the issue of sex as the children became older. They were already sexually aware and very inquisitive, often acting out with other children. So I had to make sure we talked openly enough to keep other children safe also.

Many child victims become the victimizer and relive the events they suffered upon other children they are close to, if they are not taught that what happened to them was not normal and should never be done to children.

Sex became a joke around our house. The humor seemed to ease the stress and we could slide in good comments that held their ground. It helped in teaching correct sexual behaviors and safe sex, all in ways that were not confronting to our children but helpful in teaching them to become responsible young adults.

There is such a difference between the act of sex and the act of love. So trying to help a sexually abused child overcome the trauma of what happened to them. So that they can go on and have a healthy sex life in adulthood. That is the man goal as parents to help educate and help the child to overcome and be a productive adult.