October 26th, 2006
Posted By:
Categories: Adoptive Families

Most of the time we adoptive moms have it together and we can handle anything our kids decide to bring up and toss at us.

However, I think that adopted children sometime forget that Mom has a soft heart too. They can say some of the most hurtful things at times. And I am sure birth children do the same thing.

But things like this only come from Families of Adoption:

1). I hate you. *followed by…You are not my real mom.

2). Why should you care…you didn’t give birth to me anyway.

3). That is my brother and he is not your son.

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4). You are not my blood.

5). Why don’t you go adopt some other kid and leave me alone.

6). I don’t love you and I never will.

7). Don’t say you love me…You are not my mom.

8). You will never understand how I feel. You are not adopted.

These are just a few of the things my children have yelled at me at one time or another. The one that hurt the most is “You are not my blood.” or the good old, “That’s my sister and she is not your blood.” I get that one all the time from April.

I would never let her see how very much those words hurt me. I would cry at night and ask God why couldn’t I have been their birth mother. I love them all so much. They are a part of my heart.

Then BINGO….it hit me. The heart is like the center of a family unit. It is the muscle that pumps the blood and pushes the blood out through out the body and brings life to everything. Then it takes the blood back in and it pumps it out again.

No I wasn’t part of the blood. I was the machine god used to make the blood live. He placed my children in my heart NOT in my womb. Making us even stronger than a normal family tie. Because we chose to be the vessel for God to use with these needy children.

Now when April gets mean I just hang up the phone on her. I don’t allow her hate to soak into me or hurt my soul.

If you have children who do not think before they speak then you know what I mean. One day the sad thing is April will be a mom herself maybe and her child will say some of those hurtful things to her. I wish I could spare her the heartache but maybe just as God showed me that I was the chosen place for this “blood” to be. He will speak to her heart also.

Anyone else have any good Do Not’s to add to the list. Giggle….I’m sure there are thousands out there I have not even heard yet. All comments are welcomed.

One Response to “Things Not To Say To Your Adoptive Mom”

  1. panwasmom says:

    How about “I wish I lived in a different family” or “I wish I still lived in …(name of birth country). Those two are always painful.

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