When my birth child was 14 years old we went to Honduras together as I’d been matched with two Honduran sisters, 10 and 12. I was still working in the school system and preferred to adopt school-age children. I also felt more called into that arena, feeling that babies had an easier time of finding a family, and I was 33 then, not all that interested in returning to the diaper phase of my life.

At the time I did not know that within the decade I’d be raising grandchildren as well. I also did not have a clue that my family would grow exponentially. Then I just simply wanted to adopt the two sisters.

However, before I even left Honduras several weeks later, their third sister had joined us, necessitating a return trip to that country six months later when all the paperwork was completed. Their darling birth mother and I both had to appear before a Honduran judge and explain our situations to him, why she wanted the girls to go to America, and how I planned to take care of them. I was then only learning Spanish, I’d taken French throughout high school and college, so I leaned heavily upon the mom’s second cousin, once removed, as she was bi-lingual.

Sarah, my birth child was along every step of the ride, looking forward to becoming a big sister.

But, you know the old saw about the best laid plans.

She did become the big sister, but she also became a target for jealousy and resentment for decades. She immediately lost what she’d had, a mom who had always been there 24-7, as my attentions were now diluted and diverted in a big way.

Not a single child then, or now, fully, or even in part, appreciates the losses that Sarah suffered. Gone were our spontaneous beach trips, movie times, eating-out, long quiet walks and bike rides, even a talk between the two of us became an instantaneous reason for a meltdown by the new children.

I admonished Sarah to just be patient, to try and understand what these girls had been through, to chill out please, with me not understanding her fears and frustrations.

To her credit, she did not explode, act ugly, be selfish or act out her aggravation.

Now, after two decades of a very changed lifestyle, no longer the only child, or even the only grandchild, a position she’d also held for over a decade, she’s moved over in a very non begrudging manner. I’m proud of her as I know this has been tougher than either of us ever bargained for, or ever considered the possibilities and events that have since occurred.

The picture I used is Sarah’s son who has greatly benefited from having all these children and grandchildren in his life. I snapped this picture one afternoon when he was angry at having to leave the Fun House…mine.