My cohort at Adopt America Network, my dear friend, and an experienced adoptive mom also has a blog. Yesterday she’d come across some information about psychopathic personalities that I’m going to include here, advising parents to read the entire article.

RAD symptoms are remarkably similar as is Borderline Personality Disorder. In adoption I’ve seen an inordinate number of children, compared to the general population, that have mental disorders.

Adopting from the foster care system, from marginal parents sometimes, I do not mean to paint any stereotypes with a broad brush, but only to help educate myself, and other adoptive parents, that are struggling with their children and issues.

Other bloggers here cover RAD in greater, and more articulate, detail. I’m only touching upon it.

Talking with our family psychologist, it is not lost on me that people have personal physicians, cardiologists, OB-GYNs and dentists; our family needs a personal psychologist as well. We’ve seen several over the years, but for nearly the past decade we’ve stayed with Dr. G, grateful that he understands our specific issues within a large adoptive family, my children are almost all from CPS.

• RAD includes these symptoms:
• Superficially charming and engaging, particularly around strangers or those who they feel they can manipulate
• Indiscriminate affection, often to strangers; but not affectionate on parent’s terms
• Problems making eye contact, except when angry or lying
• A severe need to control everything and everyone; worsens as the child gets older
• Hypervigilant
• Hyperactive, yet lazy in performing tasks
• Argumentative, often over silly or insignificant things
• Frequent tantrums or rage, often over trivial issues
Demanding or clingy, often at inappropriate times
• Trouble understanding cause and effect
• Poor impulse control
• Lacks morals, values, and spiritual faith
• Little or no empathy; often have not developed a conscience
• Cruelty to animals
• Lying for no apparent reason
• False allegations of abuse
• Destructive to property or self
• Stealing
• Constant chatter; nonsense questions
• Abnormal speech patterns; uninterested in learning communication skills
• Developmental / Learning delays
• Fascination with fire, blood and gore, weapons, evil; will usually make the bad choice
• Problems with food; either hoarding it or refusing to eat
• Concerned with details, but ignoring the main issues
• Few or no long term friends; tend to be loners
• Attitude of entitlement and self-importance
• Sneaks things without permission even if he could have had them by asking
• Triangulation of adults; pitting one against the other
• A darkness behind the eyes when raging

Characteristics of a Psychopath

superficial charm
self-centered & self-important
need for stimulation & prone to boredom
deceptive behavior & lying
conning & manipulative
little remorse or guilt
shallow emotional response
callous with a lack of empathy
living off others or predatory attitude
poor self-control
promiscuous sexual behavior
early behavioral problems
lack of realistic long term goals
impulsive lifestyle
irresponsible behavior
blaming others for their actions
short term relationships
juvenile delinquency
breaking parole or probation
varied criminal activity


Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder Include

• Intense unstable relationships in which the borderline always ends up getting hurt. Gunderson admits that this symptom is somewhat general, but considers it so central to BPD that he says he would hesitate to diagnose a patient as BPD without its presence.
• Repetitive self-destructive behavior, often designed to prompt rescue.
• Chronic fear of abandonment and panic when forced to be alone.
• Distorted thoughts/perceptions, particularly in terms of relationships and interactions with others.
• Hypersensitivity, meaning an unusual sensitivity to nonverbal communication. Gunderson notes that this can be confused with distortion if practitioners are not careful (somewhat similar to Herman's statement that, while survivors of intense long-term trauma may have unrealistic notions of the power realities of the situation they were in, their notions are likely to be closer to reality than the therapist might think).
• Impulsive behaviors that often embarrass the borderline later.
• Poor social adaptation: in a way, borderlines tend not to know or understand the rules regarding performance in job and academic settings.

This is how I’ve known our family needed a therapeutic help.