Billy Ray will be 18 in soon. He is currently placed at a Group Home for probation reasons, he has been ordered to stay there until he turns 18. He struggles with depression, anger issues, and ADHD. He takes medication and attends counseling. He went to the Group Home following an assault to another student, and for attempted assault to the principal and a teacher. He also was charged with shoplifting previously. Because he is expected to stay at the group home until age 18, we realize adoption may not happen for him; however we would want the family who takes the brothers to be able to keep Billy Ray in their lives.

Logan is 15. He is on probation for stealing and he resides in foster care. He has been affiliated with a gang and is quite manipulating. He is in therapy, does not have meds at this time, is on an IEP and is undergoing testing for depression and ADHD. Logan needs consistency and has fears of attaching.

Maxwell is age 12. He has a traumatic brain injury as a result of an accident. His IQ is about 76 and he is on an IEP. His foster parents are struggling with his behaviors. He has depression and is anti-social. He struggles with abandonment issues.

I have removed all identifying information about this sibling group of three brothers. Their description was posted in the hopes of finding an adoptive home for these guys…or at least two of them. “They” are in every state actually; they are becoming more indicative of the type of older children available for adoption.

Is this possible?

I have adopted several children like them over the years. Several more of my children could easily have become like this, in their rage and anger, had they not had a mother to love them through their issues.

These boys, like all children, deeply deserve a family that will love them. These boys were once “normal” and look what life has done to them. Is this fair? Just?

Let’s say a family decides to adopt them. What will happen? Logic and experience has taught me that there will be very little support given to any family that dares to try. The family will be treated as suspect, their motives will be questioned, and when there are problems, the family will be asked, “Well, what did you expect would happen with kids like these?”

So what is the answer? I don’t know. I’m heartbroken over the future for these guys. I’m disheartened at society, and I’m jaded after so many years of dealing with children who have severe issues. I’m tired of being treated like I was the cause of the problems, instead of the respect and help that I feel the children deserve, as we seek solutions.

I still have enough optimism to continue to encourage adoptive parents as I have seen a great deal of both improvement and success, yet I sense this sibling group may be close to impossible.

How dare I say that?

This was a tough post to write, it could be misconstrued as discouraging to adoption, I call it realistic and a cry for help for all waiting children, especially those who’ve waited for so long.