With 39 kids I have some inflated bills, such as car insurance. I am often asked if our bill is astronomical.

I don’t let my kids get a driver’s license at 16. I don’t believe that they are emotionally mature enough. Even at 18 some of them still express themselves like pre-schoolers with rage and anger issues, but at least they are not behind the wheel of a car at the moment.

We did have a car accident yesterday, with a 20 year old who is a good, steady driver. He’d moved out of our house, was not getting as much sleep as he should and he momentarily dozed off behind the wheel, totaling a car, but thankfully he was uninjured.

He’d been paying his own insurance. This will financially affect him, not me, and I believe that is as it should be when one is 20 years old.

Our county has gone from being rural to quite affluent, and my children see a lot of spoiled teens who are given cars and credit cards. I cannot do this for my children, nor would I if I were wealthy.

I want to give them a work ethic; I do not want to take away the self-satisfaction and pride that comes from successfully paying one’s way in life. I believe that the challenge is important, and the character strength building is priceless. Most spoiled people are whiny, most self-made people are admirable.

Initially, while the kids are still in high school, late into their 17th year, usually at age 18, I’ll be covering them with our State Farm policy, Progressive Insurance is usually their next step after I show them how to do an internet search for the cheapest policy.

They certainly do go through their own moments of longing for a sugar daddy or wealthy, indulgent parents. Truly though the thought that “I pay my own bills” gives them confidence. It’s a long process as coming up out of the foster care system, money management was not a first course, nor was its importance stressed to them at all.

The kids, at age 16 or so, seek out jobs. If it affects their schoolwork, they’d have to quit their jobs. I set them up with checking accounts and help them learn to balance their figures. I start them in piddly passbook savings accounts when they first move in with me, watching their pennies grow, slow but still an important process.

Twice we have fortunately been given old vehicles, free of charge, and they’ve served their purpose. Usually we find inexpensive small Hondas or Toyotas to purchase, sometimes I’ve had to loan them the money, something that stretches me into oblivion, but it is doable. The kids repay me, I sign the title over to them, and they establish a credit history with their payments to the insurance company while also learning about car tags and personal property tax.

Going through all these steps gives them an appreciation, even a small sense of gratitude, thinking of what all I’ve gone through financially to raise them and to guide them into adulthood with its own financial challenges and independence.

They struggle, they make mistakes and they make poor choices but slowly, very slowly they learn. I’ve had two grown kids need to go to credit counseling services and dig themselves out properly. I’ve had three grown kids buy houses, they all buy cars and everyone has pretty good jobs after a good many false steps, but we’re making forward progress