When Parent’s Cry

There are times when parenting your children can be a very tearful experience. No parent ever likes to ground, lecture or discipline their children.

It would be a wonderful world if parents didn’t have to raise their kids to be responsible adults.
No one just develops morals if they are not taught to care about important things.

If everyone just went around slapping and hurting each other and no one said a word. What would life be like? Parents are trying hard now and sometimes they get treated like dirt.

Kids with attitudes. Teens who know it all. LIttle kids cussing and swearing at teachers and at their parents. Some parents are even being abused by their out of control children.

We wonder who’s fault is it? Most of the time I see parents cry and think that they are the reason that their children are so out of control.

It is like these children are born not to care about anyone but their selves. Sometimes they do not even care about that.

I have met some very good parents. Who have read every book, taken every class, tried every disciplinary action the therapist can come up with and still their children do not respond.

Those same parents feel guilty if they take away the T. V. or the Cable. They have given their kids everything and still we wonder why they are not happy?

In many of these cases I have handed a parent a Kleenex and then a sheet of paper with the words on it….LEARN TO EARN. It is just that simple. The kids have been given everything. Never made to work for anything. So they need to learn a big lesson that no matter how loud they get, how they cuss, scream, kick or hit. They are not getting anything until their behavior changes.

Sure parents ache in secret to give their child things that they never had. But by doing so they are corrupting them and teaching them that they can treat them or anyone else any way they would like and they will still be rewarded.

In these extreme cases. This is my advice and game plan:

1.) Everything in the child’s room except the bed and a limited number of out fits for school and one for church gets packed up into boxes.

2.) The house hold goes down to one T. V. and Basic Cable. The T. V. is only used at the parents
need.

3.) Things that you do not want damaged also get packed away and placed in a storage unit, under lock and key. (One the kids know nothing about.)

4). Food items become basic. No goodies.

5). Bed times are set.

6). Set a list of behavioral goals. Until those are met and maintained for at least one month. Nothing will be returned to the house.

7). Weekends become family time. No kids allowed in and no visits to friends houses.

8). It may be a living hell for a while but if you stick to this plan your children will learn and they will begin to respect you and the things they have around them.

You may say this is the extreme. Well this is for the extreme cases. Where parents are at the end of the rope and the kids are having issues in school and they are just as bad at home.

As long as you feed your child, clothe your child, provide shelter for them. Love them. Do not beat they. No law is broken.

The law is broken when your child gets so out of control that you can’t handle them.

This might be a great time for family therapy also.
It takes a lot of tough love for parents to not give in. But honestly it does work. Fixing something so badly broken is never easy. However it can be done.

One day your child will respect you so much that if you cry they will want to know why and they will be
concerned about you. That is what compassion is all about. It is just hard to teach to selfish and out of control kids.

Anyone else out there been through something like this? All comments and concerns are welcome.

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